


Why'd you leave me

by js_who



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/js_who/pseuds/js_who
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young!Royai Oneshot inspired by All I want- Kodaline</p><p>A little different story about how the funeral of Riza's father went. I just pictured Riza running down a hill in tears while this song played and yeah I had to write a story around and about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why'd you leave me

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to the song "All I Want" by Kodaline before or while reading this piece! It increased the level of my feels to 120%.
> 
> It's my first fic in probably 2 years or more so be gentle! I am always open for tips and other advices. It's also my first Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction but I learned to love it in such a short time I had to write this idea down.
> 
> Don't know if this is already AU-stuff or nah so let me know what you think.
> 
> This also didn't have a beta reader so please excuse some mistakes and tell me them!

There she stood.  
Hands balled in fists looking down on the grey, cold stone and grave.  
She had often wished for it but never acutally imagined that it would ever happen though obviously her father had just been a normal human being destined to die one day.  
Without his presence she didn't feel threatened anymore but also alone as now little Riza was the only one left of her family.  
It was a quite a nice sunny evening for late summer, the sun trying its best to warm the ground with what was left of the power of her rays.  
But eventually it would have to cease its resistance for winter.

The funeral had been long over.  
She should go home, she thought, not moving an inch or even flinch at the thought.  
Her legs just seemed to have something different in mind or maybe it was just herself giving in to the grief and sadness, something that never happened before.  
She allowed herself to feel sad in this moment only knowing that it would end and life would go on eventually.

In the corner of her eye a figure appeared.  
Riza knew but didn't say anything.  
There was a feeling coming up she tried to hold back because it wouldn't benefit the situation if she would break down crying as the thought of being entirely all alone washed over her.  
In the end everyone would go, leaver her behind and she had to be strong, carry on and throw it out of her mind.  
Especially him.  
She felt so lost, so betrayed about it.  
Obviously he wouldn't stay as he had told her about his plans and she admired his idealism, his vision of a better world but for that he would leave her and she always knew, reminded herself every day about it.  
Unfortunately in this moment it was all a little bit too much.  
They both left her at the same time on a sudden and she had to admit she hadn't been prepared.

Looking down on the grave, locking eyes with the lettering of her fathers name, his hand rose and he held up a folded piece of paper.  
„If you ever happen to be in trouble or need help just call on me in the military.“  
Without speaking a word she took the paper peeking inside catching sight of a number written in his messy cursive.  
She would recognize his handwriting anytime never forgetting the nights he slipped notes through under her door advising her to meet him in various places when her father was asleep.  
The memories were so vivid though long over and she didn't know if she should be sad or angry, not feel anything at all or feel everything at once.  
After a few seconds of silence he spoke up again with a mumbled „I am sorry that I have to go. I wish it would be different but I have to do it.“  
Riza glanced at him.  
He couldn't look in her eyes but she saw that he meant his apology.  
„Don't... It's okay, really.“ she brought out.  
„I will be fine.“

Suddenly she wanted him to be gone.  
He should go.  
Away from her, away from her life.  
It was better for him and she realized it was better for her.  
Did he know she cared so much about him?, Riza thought and answered with yes a short moment after.  
Of course he did.  
They both knew.  
Still she felt betrayal and as childish as she knew herself it was Riza couldn't think of a better way to cope than to push him away in that moment.  
„I should go home.“ she whispered turning around to leave.  
Before taking a step Roy took her wrist and swirled her around.

As the dawn came both stood there, Riza tugged in a tight hug by him not able to get out of it.  
She felt the tears coming up and choked on the air she didn't want to let out to not embarrass herself.  
„I will come back, I promise, Riza.“, he said pressing her head to his shoulder, trembling.  
In the end he gave her free, abruptly turned around without another word and left her standing.  
She watched as he moved away, getting smaller and smaller while walking towards the horizon where the sun set on the wide fields.  
Her heart clenched realizing it was finally left alone with this body of a young teenage girl now responsible for herself.  
Little heels dug in the ground as her feet began running down the hill desperately trying to get away from the scenery.  
She pushed out every thought about him, closing her eyes.  
She didn't need him.  
She didn't need anyone.  
Still her mind asked the same question over and over again.  
Why would he leave?  
After all this time was his duty and honor more important than Riza Hawkeye?  
Scolding herself for such stupid thoughts she stopped in motion and let herself fall to the knees crying out.  
Pathetic was all she could think about herself.  
As the sun sank Riza realized why she was so angry about him. About herself.  
Even though growing up in such a household like her father's the little girl in her had kept the hope of happiness and joyfull endings.  
For that little girl back then Roy Mustang had been the mighty hero coming to save her, treating her like a princess or at least like a sister.  
All of her hope she had put in that boy.  
All of her love and admiration.  
In the end there was no happy ending.  
He couldn't do anything, change nothing and these little bits of hope and belief that were left in the blonde girl's soul were crushed as realization hit in.

He truly dissapointed her right in that moment.  
Watching the grave from afar Riza got up and put herself together.  
The teardrops left on her cheek dried, caressed by the wind stroking her cheeks while fighting against it on her way home.  
With every step she wished he would have taken her with him however irresponsible it may have been but she couldn't stand the thought of living in such a big empty house all on her own not even sharing too much emotional connection with it.  
Lovely things had happened in this house, funny things, but more significantly events a girl like her wasn't supposed to experience at such an early age.  
No sound was to be heard as she entered.  
She stepped out of her boots and went straight to bed not even putting her clothes off.  
His train would leave tomorrow, she reminded herself.  
Determined to keep her last promise to her father Riza would go see him before he left again and tomorrow she would have the strength to face him without shaking.  
She had to show him her last secret before he left and then she would let him go.  
He would know and she would be free of being alone with the wisdom her back contained though not free of the burden it brought.  
Riza had to conclude that her dreams were as wrong and false as everyone else's.  
Her saviour turned out to be just another human being but he couldn't be blamed as it had been her expectations nobody ever could realistically live up to.  
Before sleep calmed her troubled mind Riza wished to an unknown god that at least Roy's dreams would come true no matter what happened.  
Promising she would do anything to make them happen she slipped over the edge falling into a dreamless night.


End file.
